If You Give a Kid a Post-It

If you give a kid a post-it, he is going to stick it on his forehead.

If he sticks it on his forehead, you will ask him (politely, as though you are assured of his maturity) to take it off his forehead.

If you ask him to take it off his forehead, he will attempt to take four minutes to do so.

If he attempts to take four minutes to do so, you will tell him he has five seconds and begin counting down from five.

If you begin counting down from five, he will make a great show of rushing to remove the post-it from his forehead before you are finished counting.

If he makes a great show and rushes to remove the post-it from his forehead, he will inadvertently send it flying to the ground.

If he sends it flying to the ground, he will lean down to pick it up and then wave it in the air, asking, “Then what do I do with it?”

If he asks “What do I do with it,” you will tell him to set it in the corner of his desk and throw it away after class (foregoing the entire point of giving him the post-it to begin with, with the realization that your well-rehearsed plan will obviously be impossible).

If you ask him to throw it away after class, he will ask if he can throw it away right now.

If he asks if he can throw it away right now, you know what will happen: the rest of the class will also want to throw their post-its away and your sense of fairness and determined commitment to consistency will not allow you to tell them “no” when you told him “yes.” The entire class will get out of their seats to throw their post-its away and a good twenty minutes will pass before they are securely in their seats again, successfully defeating the purpose of the original five minute post-it activity, as well as any other activity you had planned for that day.

Because you know what will happen, you say, “no.”

If you say “no,” the student will set his post-it in the corner of his desk as you originally asked (seven minutes ago).

If he sets his post-it in the corner of his desk, he will notice it again fifteen minutes later. In his state of perpetual distraction, he will forget everything that happened fifteen minutes before. He will think that you must have just given him the post-it.

And if you give a kid a post-it, he is going to stick it on his forehead.

-R.E.A.